I’m going to start this off by saying that I’m more of a Marvel fan then DC so I’m a little biased about my superhero movie. But even still I enjoy having more superhero movies to watch so I try to keep an open mind. All in all I thought Wonder Women 1984 was an adequate movie I guess. I wasn’t a huge fan of it which I was expecting because I wasn’t really a fan of the first one or of Wonder Women the character as a whole.
Besides for that I thought it was relatively average for a superhero movie, there were just too many things that were a problem for it to be a great movie. First the main villains’ “power” and his thought process to get to his goal was boring and stupid to me. Sure his power was… well powerful it was just plain boring and I feel like the way he went about making himself powerful was a little lacking in forethought and a plan. He was just to rushed for anything to work out. And then the way he was beaten was very anti-climatic, confusing, and definitely didn’t take human nature into account(which is also one of my biggest problems in the first movie). Like did Max renouncing his wish negate all others, because if it didn’t there is no way in hell that everyone in whole world who saw his broadcast would renounce their wish. But even that pales to what I believe was the biggest problem of the movie which can be wrapped up by talking about bringing back Chris Pines’ character which was useless. It was useless because with the fact that this movie takes place in the past of the DCU you know everything has to be wrapped up and that some how these characters have to disappear some way or another or it wouldn’t make sense why they’re not in the “newer” movies. It also doesn’t make sense to me that such a huge event would happen in the “past” and they, more specifically Batman wouldn’t have known about Diana through those events happening. So all of these problems I have with the movie would lead me to say it’s a 5.5 out of 10. All in all, completely average.
Recently I finished reading Eragon(currently on the third), and I know you’re probably wondering it’s been out for a long time why are you just reading it now? In my defense I wasn’t into reading back when it came out so I never read ended up reading. But I was really into dragons so I watched the movie when it came out and since I never read the book I loved the movie. So when I finally did get into reading I avoided reading the book like the plague because I had heard that it was like so many other book adaptions a.k.a. it sucked and I didn’t want to ruin a movie I liked so I never read it. But recently I re-watched that movie and I was like “fuck it I want more dragons!” and decided to finally read the books.
I’m going to start by saying that I know it wasn’t a great movie and that the changes they made to the actual characters were bad but as someone who has seen so many different movie adaptations that have truly and absolutely suck I don’t really know why this one got so much hate. Because honestly compared to other movies this one was okay, especially if you look at it from the perspective that they were probably not planning on making any of the sequels. I’m not saying that if it was a hit they wouldn’t have made more but to me it looks like the way they made it made it okay if there wasn’t anymore movies after. Like if you look at the changes and stuff they omitted it makes a lot of sense because more then half of the stuff they kept out were big plot points in the next book so excluding it from the movie just kept there from being plot holes or a bunch of cliffhangers. Also I understand some of the stuff they changed so that the story could fit into the time limit of a movie and be within budget. So, honestly I thought it was a pretty good adaptation and my opinion of the movie hasn’t really changed. Obviously that isn’t saying I wouldn’t love there to be more movies and for those to be more accurate to the books. But of all the book adaptations I’ve seen, this one gets a green light and doesn’t deserve the dislike it got.
I finally watched the new Mulan on Friday because I refused to spend an extra $30 for a movie that I knew in my heart would be a huge disappointment. And surprise surprise it was. So, lets talk about the things Disney did to ruin my second favorite Disney movie of all time one by one. Sorry if this will give spoilers to some people but if you wan’t to be remotely entertained by this movie you need to go into with your eyes opened to the butchering of one of the greatest Disney classics.
First, they “replaced” the great and powerful Mushu with a phoenix! The only thing this phoenix added to the movie was that it was pretty. It did absolutely did nothing but fly around Mulan occasionally. As where Mushu was helpful, funny, and added to the story the phoenix was a “trophy” animal companion. It was just pretty with no purpose.
Second and even more important was the music! This is the thing that really really pisses me off because that is what makes a Disney movie a Disney movie! Especially with Mulan, if I wanted just a normal Mulan story I would watch the actual Chinese made ones. It was even worse that a couple times they played instrumentals versions of the songs that were weird mashups of multiple songs. All in all they ruined it by not including what many would say is the best Disney song of all time!
The worst thing they did was making Mulan into some super skilled witch with magic fighting skills. One of the best things about Mulan was that she became the awesome badass she was through hard work and practice. They completely ruined that by making her perfect at the beginning. The whole magic thing they added into the movie ruined the realisticness of the original movies plot.
Everything I heard about Mulan before it came out was that they wanted to make a culturally accurate movie so they had to change things but everything they changed just ruined the greatness of the original instead so it was a 5 out of 10.
First off I had no idea that Disney was even making this movie let alone that it was already out so that was a surprise to me. Now I’m not a die hard Black Beauty fan or anything but I have read at least some of the book (can’t remember if I read it all) and have seen at least the 1994 movie. So I am clearly the number 1 authority on all things Black Beauty without at doubt.
All in all the movie was a good watch but I without a doubt liked the 1994 movie way better. The biggest problem was that they made the movie take place in modern times. As a lot of people know Black Beauty goes through a shit ton of abuse and trauma and before I even started the movie I was confused on how are they going to explain the type of abuse that takes place in 2020. Call me an optimist but I like to think that the stuff that Beauty goes through would be much harder to happen now then it was in the 1800’s. Now I’m not saying that I didn’t feel bad for the modern day Beauty (I definitely teared up once) it just wasn’t as bad as the abuse that the past Beauty went through.
The second problem I had with 2020 Black Beauty was that they basically changed a movie about a horse to a horse girl movie. Some of you may be confused about the difference so I’ll give you a very basic way to tell the difference, a horse movie is about horses a horse girl movie is about the relationship between the girl and horse. Classic Black Beauty is an honest horse movie just about the horses life and maybe a little bit of the human/horse relationships. This 2020 movie was 90% about the relationship between Black Beauty and this girl Joe, it’s sweet I’ll admit it but it’s just a little boring to me.
So, all around I’d give it a 6 out of 10 it’s a good watch but not as good as the old one.
I watch the Disney+ movie Clouds this weekend and it was a very good movie. For those who don’t know Clouds is about a young man with terminal cancer who makes music with his last months. It was a tearjerker with some good comedic parts to lighten the mood so your luckily not crying the entire time. Also the casting compared to the real people was phenomenal, like seriously I was super impressed when they show you the real people at the end of the movie. The main character was actually really inspirational with how they never give up.
All around I give it a 9 out of 10 . The only reason it doesn’t get a 10 out of 10 is honestly because it’s basically like every other terminal cancer movie and being a person who prefers action supernatural stuff it gets kinda repetitive. But I still suggest to watch it if you can!
So, I finally got around to watching the Artemis Fowl movie and it was a shit show! Which I knew going in sadly from the trailer alone. The entire plot was complete wrong which isn’t even the worst part! Anyone who has read the books know that Artemis is not a hero, he only cares about 2 things his family and making money. This movie completely said fuck that and decided to ruin a great and unique storyline and character to make some stupid save the world from the bad guy thing.
The most confusing part is they tried to bring in important plot points from the book but it made no sense with this hero underplot they tried to bring in. It was also super strange that they brought in stuff from the second book which was just why why did you do that. There were only 3 good things about this movie. One was Fowl Manor which was fucking gorgeous that also couldn’t have been ruined because it wasn’t described that much in the book. Two the casting of Artemis Fowl I liked the actor who plays him but thats it. And three was also the character/casting of Mulch, he was probably the only accurately portrayed character everyone else was way more weak and pathetic then they were in the book.
Overall this movie was a piece of shit that had unnecessary changes and additions to a perfect story. Why it took 19 years for Disney to make this massive fuck up is unknown and I hope they realized Covid saved them from an embarrassing box office flop and took this as a learning experience that if their going to make a live action of a series that has a huge following they shouldn’t change things for no reason.
So all in all it gets a 1 out of 10 (90% of that 1 is Fowl Manor, damn that house was awesome).
Not that it matters because Regal is closing again but heres some mini reviews of the movies that I did go and see while the theater was opened.
Words on the Bathroom Walls– 10 out of 10
It was a very good cry which is exactly what I wanted! Thats all thats needed to be said about it.
The New Mutants– 5 out of 10
It only gets 5 because we all know it’s useless and is not gonna count in the MCU because of Disney buying Fox. But besides that was rather blah and the kids in it were kinda stupid. I mean seriously there is only 1 doctor and 5 kids in this creepy asylum duh it’s not a good place. So the only reason to see it is the fact that there are no other movies to see.
Tenet– 9 out of 10
If Covid didn’t fuck over the theater going business it would have probably made box office records. But it definitely deserves the title of blockbuster. The only reason it doesn’t get a 10 out of 10 is it could have explained its time travel rules a little more for those people who aren’t sci-fi experts *cough cough my sister cough cough*.
The Broken Hearts Gallery– 7 out of 10
It was a fun watch and the characters were great and super entertaining! The only thing i wished it had was a nice scene to cry at then it would have been perfect.
Well those are the only movies I got to see in theaters so hopefully 2021 will get better.