So, I finally got around to watching the Artemis Fowl movie and it was a shit show! Which I knew going in sadly from the trailer alone. The entire plot was complete wrong which isn’t even the worst part! Anyone who has read the books know that Artemis is not a hero, he only cares about 2 things his family and making money. This movie completely said fuck that and decided to ruin a great and unique storyline and character to make some stupid save the world from the bad guy thing.
The most confusing part is they tried to bring in important plot points from the book but it made no sense with this hero underplot they tried to bring in. It was also super strange that they brought in stuff from the second book which was just why why did you do that. There were only 3 good things about this movie. One was Fowl Manor which was fucking gorgeous that also couldn’t have been ruined because it wasn’t described that much in the book. Two the casting of Artemis Fowl I liked the actor who plays him but thats it. And three was also the character/casting of Mulch, he was probably the only accurately portrayed character everyone else was way more weak and pathetic then they were in the book.
Overall this movie was a piece of shit that had unnecessary changes and additions to a perfect story. Why it took 19 years for Disney to make this massive fuck up is unknown and I hope they realized Covid saved them from an embarrassing box office flop and took this as a learning experience that if their going to make a live action of a series that has a huge following they shouldn’t change things for no reason.
So all in all it gets a 1 out of 10 (90% of that 1 is Fowl Manor, damn that house was awesome).
Nerd Thoughts 